I usually don't rant online like this, but I need an outlet. It's not that I think I'm so great, I'm not. It's that I don't understand some people's "logic". I now honestly believe that kids are becoming screwed up because of these types of people.
Case in point #1: I Watched as some other family's kids play with my kids in the snow. I also watched as my son had thrown a snowball that got down her shirt. She ran home crying. I told Nathan to come inside and to be much more careful. A few minutes later, the mother called and complained that my son had hit her and her son, who was also there, with a shovel. I told her I was watching the whole time and then proceeded to tell her what had happened.
Fast forward to the following summer and again, while watching, she had attacked him and he stepped out of the way, causing her to tumble. She ran home again, and once again, a phone call. I finally told my son to try to avoid her because she's nothing but trouble. Even if he didn't do anything wrong, she will eventually get him into serious trouble.
Sure enough, a year later, another knock on the door. This time I didn't see what was going on. A neighbor was helping this woman of said daughter, who in spite of her illnesses, keeps getting pregnant. Keep in mind Vermont is one of those states who actually will pay for your birth control, long before the fed wanted to mandate it. The good news it that they are all from the same father - and before anyone jumps to THAT conclusion, it's way too obvious, they do look like him.
The neighbor said that Nathan had hit her with a stick - with a scratch (not a bruise). Now this girl did have her convinced that he did indeed do it, but I suspect that she had either accidentally scratched herself and took that as an opportunity as "proof" or (and I wouldn't have put it past her) inflict it on herself. Fortunately, this woman was a little more reasonable, so I said that they have been fighting an aweful lot and perhaps it was best if they just avoided each other from now on. It takes two to fight and since she or he cannot get along, this would be best.
The neighbor agreed. I still think that she thinks that my son did it, but she believes that the girl had instigated it. This scenario is not impossible, but not likely. Siblings are more likely to instigate stuff like that, after all, siblings know your weaknesses. He has never hit his sisters, maybe pushed a couple of times, in which he had learned quickly, you don't push anyone in this house.
Case in point #2: My kids love to wrestle (especially the boys) and I tell my girls that if they don't want to get hurt, then don't join in. The neighborhood boys came over and they were wrestling when a couple of their sisters showed up. They joined in and I had to turn my back for a moment to deal with my youngest and sure enough... both of the neighborhood girls came in, one was crying complaining that my son kicked her. I asked if they were wrestling, they said yes, and I said I'm sure it was an accident. I had asked where they were, and they said that he had left for his friends house. I said I will deal with them when they get back.
Yes, another knock on my door. This time it was the mother, going on about how boys shouldn't kick girls. I simply said that it was an accident (as in he was wearing winter boots and had probably didn't even know he had kicked her) and if she doesn't want to get hurt, then she shouldn't wrestle with the boys. Well, it doesn't matter, boys shouldn't kick girls, blah, blah, blah. I immediately knew what was coming next... Sure enough, she would hit, kick him and then claim that he can't beat her because that she was a girl and she would tell her mom. When he told her that he could accidently mistake her for a boy by the way she acted, it toned down.
That is until she DEMANDED that he would go out with her (keep in mind that she's eight years old) - or else she would tell her mom that he beat her up. *sigh* Thanks "mom", thanks for teaching your daughter on how to be a good "victim". Moron.
Case in point #3: Drama from our kids is annoying, and I can somewhat understand this guy's position (given his background) and actually, I'm really hoping that this is really a misunderstanding on either my part or his. But today, after my son had conned his way into getting his friend (we'll call him Todd) from another town to spend the night, I had sent a friend of my son's home (we'll call him "Brad") while I try to figure out how to solve this problem.
As it turned out, Todd, for whatever reason, had assumed that it was okay to spend the night tonight, even after I had told my son no. It appears that my son never told this kid no, so the mother (poor woman) had already made plans to drop him off to the point that he had no place to go if I had turned them down. I was understandably upset with My son, after I sent "Brad" home, and said I will see him Monday. I chewed my son out for pulling such a trick.
Now keep in mind that I send my son's friends home when he does things like this, simply because having friends over is a priviledge, not a right. I have five kids, and I can't keep kids over if there is too much drama going on with my kis. But apparently, I've done this too many times, and "Brad" got upset - (*ahem*) disappointed. So instead of teaching "Brad" to deal with life's disappointments, he just forbad him to play with my son at all. That's right, punish both kids forever, because he didn't want to deal with the "drama". I have an idea, how about forbid him to have ANY friends, because, you know, he will be disappointed by them just as easily.
There's more... I mean a LOT more. I can go on for hours because this town if full of them. I try to be compassionate... Really... and not all of my neighbors are bad... at least not the one renting the house from our other good neighbors. The one I mentioned above, that was helping out with the kids is also pretty reasonable.
The one besides me doesn't give me any trouble, but she seriously micromanages her kids. Every minute, every second is accounted for. I threaten my kids everytime they fight too much or aren't getting their schoolwork done that I will do it like them, if they keep it up. My kids immediately apologize and actually are pretty good for a while.
Although, I think I will start saving for a gym membership this summer. I'll would practically live there - until I meet the next problematic person. I do understand, those types of people are not limited to this town... It just I haven't met a family that I can actually relate to.
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